Regardless of how busy and occupied with your career, husband, and kids, friends and your personal life you are, dedicating some quality time to handle aging process of your mother is a ‘must do’ in your schedule. All those long hours your mother spent awake, caring and nursing and babysitting – you, should be rewarded when her old age strikes. Nevertheless, aging parent is a challenge nothing less than a baby is and knowing how to handle this delicate period of their lives is essential for both, you and your mother. Here’s a brief rundown of some useful advice and instructions on how to behave, what to take care of and how to handle best your Mom’s aging process.
Make plan B for finances
Aging is primarily associated with various health issues, need for medications, treatment and long-term care. All of these senior services cost significantly. It is a scenario that your aging Mother faces financial issues at some point realizing that her savings just won’t suffice. Keep in mind that you will probably have to intervene and take care of many of these expenses. Making a solid, reasonable strategy about health care and senior services is essential for financial stability.
She will need assistance, even if she denies it
This aspect is a sort of a challenge and tactfulness test. On the one hand, Elder Mother will certainly start to lose her abilities, skills, and capacities for various actions one by one as time goes by. She won’t be able to drive anymore; you’ll face troubles reading, climbing stairs, memorizing long lists and many similar things. These limitations are hard to accept for both, children and a parent. Mothers are commonly independent and struggle giving up these “freedoms.” At the same time, she will need help, but asking for it will come humiliating or embarrassing to her. Try your best to be tactical and considerate. Try to observe her behavior and notice the difficulties without asking too direct questions. Then just do those duties on your own, without mentioning it as a form of help and assistance.
Talk about changes, but careful with words
Aging will impose various changes in physical condition, health issues, mental state, social life and daily routines. It’s absurd even to try to ignore these aspects and pretend life is the same. On the other hand, pressuring your Mother to face upcoming death is the morbid and insensitive approach. Find the middle way. Find the right words.
Be honest, open, moderately intimate and rather kind with your mother when it comes to these delicate topics. Still, going through this period with the full support of your will certainly soft the bitterness of these life challenges. These conversations should not only focus on philosophical aspects of aging but also on the practical issue. Suggest gently changes and modifications of some daily routines, habits, activities to adjust them according to her deteriorating health and decreasing strength. If you do this adequately, she won’t take it with fear, embarrassment or guilt, but as the loving and caring approach of her dearest people.