Follow Your Instincts
If you think that you are not a very confident mother and you want to change that, then you are in the right place because in this article you will be able to find some very interesting ways that will change your confidence level. All you need to do is follow our instructions. The First tip that we can give you to start off with would be to follow your instinct. The reason why this is important is because every mother and women have this type of instinct, but only a small number of them actually follows and listens to their instincts.
This can be a bad thing in many situations, especially if you are a mother and you are raising your children. You have to show that you truly believe in yourself and that you are using your instinct because in many cases your instinct as a mother is the best solution to many problems. This will help you out a lot to become a great mother, especially if you start following your instincts right when you have your first child. When they are just baby they cannot tell you what is bothering them, you have to use your instinct in order to figure it out on your own.
Don’t Follow Every Opinion
When raising your first child, you will get all kinds of advice and opinions from people that you are close with and from people that you barely know. Some young mothers make the mistake of listening and following every opinion that they get from people even if they don’t know them. This is a mistake because not everyone knows what is best for you, to be more precise, only you know what the best for you and your kid is. You can use the advice that you get in some cases when you cannot find a solution on your own, but if you are doing something and people are constantly suggesting something else, you don’t need to listen to them.
Of course, most likely they all want the best for you, but if you want to be a confident mother, then you have to learn how to follow your ways of doing things and not always listen to other people. At this time, you have to learn how to separate opinions from advice and when you get some you always want to think about it twice before making any changes.
Find Some Mom Friends
When you get your baby, you will be occupied with her all the time, but you have to remember that there are other people around you also who can help you. When you lack confidence, that might be because you are not comfortable with handling the baby or something like that. In that case, the best thing is to find some friends of yours who are also mothers and just talk to them. You can learn so much from other moms you don’t even know. Of course, you don’t have to do everything as they did, but you can learn from their mistakes.
Technology has become an essential part of our normal day human lives. In fact, it has become so present that most of the things that required our presence in the past can now be either automated or can be performed from home by using a computer or an app. The world has changed compared to just a few decades ago, and in such a fast-paced world laws and rules change fast as well, or at least they should. When it comes to raising children, it has never been an easy task. For instance, in the past, there were a lot of problems with healthcare, with the potential of war and many ways where children could get hurt, injured or where they could come in contact with potentially bad things, and that has not changed even today. For that reason, it is again a challenge to raise a child in this technological world so that it can know how to protect itself and have a carefree life at the same time. We will share with you some of our knowledge on how to best raise your child in this technological world.
1) Technology should not be forbidden and discouraged
In today’s world, there is no good reason to try and prevent technology from being a part of your child’s life. We do agree that they should not have access to all features of certain apps and programs, but that is why there are many apps with parental control or limits on them. Since most of the programs and apps can be moderated to a certain degree you should encourage your child to use and master the technology that is in his interest. Protecting him can just create an adverse effect on the child, plus it can alienate him from his peers and seriously lower his chances of integrating with society at one point in their lives.
2) Moderate use should be your golden standard
Using too little technology can have adverse effects, but using too much can have the same result. Moderation is the key in everything in life, and you will simply have to have basic knowledge of how much your child should be using certain things and keep it on a nice comfy moderate level.
3) Keep their social lives high
Technology is definitely making our lives easier, but it also has its costs. While technology is shortening our need to converse with other people, it does not mean that we should encourage such behavior. In fact, children can suffer a lot if they miss on their social development. So, you as a parent need to make sure that your child has enough social interaction in the real world so that they don’t suffer from social anxiety and other issues when it comes to being friends or speaking in public.
4) Teach them to question everything
The internet is one big fat book that can show them all the colors of the world. While it is important they have their own opinion, make sure that they don’t believe everything they read online. Teach them critical thinking and that questioning everything they read or see online is the best way to approach the world and the technology in it.
One of the things that are making mothers concerned is someone having a bad influence on their child. That is completely normal because every mother has the instinct to protect their child from any harm and evil. So, when they see that their kid is badly influenced by another kid or someone else they tend to get overprotective.
Don’t Be Overprotective
Being overprotective of your kid is usually not the best option you have to protect him/her from bad influencing people. Unfortunately, there are these kinds of mothers out there who don’t know any other way to protect their children but to completely cut them off from their friends and people around them. Those mothers create some kind of a protective bubble around their kids, and they don’t let anyone inside that bubble. This can be extremally bad for the child because it can create some level of loneliness and your kid can get depressed or angry at you, even if your intentions were only to protect them from harm. They don’t understand that especially if they are teenagers because that is the period of their lives when their hormones are starting to influence their decisions.
Talk to Them
Instead of forbidding your kid to hang out with friends that might have a bad influence on them, you as their mother should try to talk with them about that group of friends. That conversation should be very open, your kid should be comfortable enough to tell you everything about his friends. If you see that your kid is holding something back, tell him that he needs to trust you and that you will only give him advice. When your kid tells you all about that group of friends that he likes, advise him on what should he be avoiding. You are the adult; therefore, you most likely have enough experience to tell him what kind of behavior is bad.
Levels of Threat
When it comes to bad influence there are certain levels that can be set, depending on the situation. We like to think that there are 3 levels of threat and that you should react differently to each of them. You should never ignore even the lowest level of threat because that can lead up to a higher level and then it will be too late to take initiative.
The first Level. This level of threat is so small that usually, parents don’t even recognize it as a threat to their children. Here is an example, your kid is very smart, all his grades are perfect. He starts to hang out with friends that prevent him from studying by playing video games all day long.
Second Level. This is a more serious threat than playing video games all day, it can be things like smoking cigarettes and drinking beer.
Third Level. There is no chance that you won’t realize this threat, what is more, serious than smoking and drinking as a kid? Well using drugs. You should take immediate action and make a stop to it.
Most likely your children will not start doing fun activities on their own. You have to encourage them, show them how fun can some outside activity be. Nowadays, this has become a very important part of a parent because now everything is digitalized and simplified. The only activity your kids will do is play on the computer all day. A lot of things have changed in the past 15 years regarding the parenting. All that is because of the advancement of technology, 15 years ago kids were playing outside, every day a different game and more importantly they were making new friends and building their relationships. However, now we can barely see kids that are playing outside and the reason for that is technology.
Even parents cannot turn their kids from technology because it is now surrounding us and we use it too. However, as a mother, you can do certain things that will make your kid forget about his computer games, even if it is for a short time. Kids shouldn’t be stuck to their smartphones and computers all day playing and chatting with their friends through them. They need person to person communication, otherwise, they will not develop the needed human skills that they need later in their lives.
Addiction of Computer Games
Nowadays it is impossible to keep your children away from video games. Some video games can be very inappropriate for their age, so you must pay close attention what games they are playing.It can be very complicated and difficult to explain to your children that they need to go outside and play. To you, this might sound silly but kids these days do not know how much fun they can have outside the house. Therefore, you as their mother should show them by taking them to different places outside such as parks. There are so many things you can do that will entertain your kid and more importantly drag them away from technology.
A Picnic is a great distraction from technology. It is the simplest way to do something fun outside your home. Go to any park with grass and set up a picnic. You can make this a weekly or monthly thing, that way you can get some quality time with your kids.
Camping is another good way to enjoy the company of your kids. Every kid would love to go camping even if they say that they rather stay home, that is just the addiction for computers talking. That will fade instantly if you make this camping experience unforgettable. Your kids will want to go again because it will most likely be the biggest fun trip they ever had. Camping for few days is a great way to bond and connect even more with your kids. Go camping somewhere where you can teach them interesting things such as a fishing trip. Teach them how to build a bonfire and how to set up a tent. All those things will stay in their memories forever.
Every parent is a role model to their children, you can’t change that. They are growing up looking up at you and the decisions you make in life. They will try to mimic the behavior that they see from you because you are the only adult they have when they are growing up. Knowing that it is crucial to know what and how to do in life in order to become a perfect role model for your children. If you need some tips on what should a good role model mother do, then continue reading this article and you will find out.
Live Healthily. Living a healthy life is not only beneficial to you, but to your children too. They are more likely to pick up good or bad habits from their parents than from anyone else. Your kids are growing up watching you and how do you live your life. That’s why it is important to as a mother make good choices in life such as don’t smoke or quit smoking if you are, don’t abuse alcohol or drugs. These are some of the important things that you as a mother should avoid doing. Studies have shown that children whose parents are some kind of addicts are more likely to become addicts themselves than kids that have healthy parents.
Self-Improvement. You should never stop improving yourself and your qualities. That is the worst choice you can do in life to give up on self-improvement. You will raise your kids to do that same thing without even noticing and because of that, they won’t succeed in life. Never stop chasing dreams and goals, you are always capable of improving and achieving things in life no matter your age.
Maintain Healthy Relationships. Try to have very positive and healthy relationships with everyone. That will give your kid a good example of how to behave with other people in life. As a mother of your kids, you are not even realizing how much do you and your actions are affecting the life of your kids. Your kids will most likely follow your footsteps because you are their role model that they watch every day.
Open Up Your Life. You should be the best friend of your children. You are most likely their only adult friend that they can talk to if they have any problem in life. However, to achieve that kind of connection to earn their trust, you first must open up your life to them. Have them ask anything they want about your life, answer them all and don’t lie about anything. If you have made some poor choice in life tell them about it. When they know how something is like they will not try to experience it on their own, especially if you tell them your experiences. They will not judge you, they will most likely understand why have you did it and that way you can earn their trust. In no time, you can expect them to talk with you with much more confidence and trust.
1.Homeschooling is life changing. Teaching and educating your child at home can and will create an individual development for you and your child. For you, the development and growth will be because you will have a chance to re-discover some of the interesting things that you have learned in school. As for your child, he will be getting all that education and growth from your knowledge and experiences. Homeschooling can have a very deep effect on your kid and it is great to further increase your bond.
2.You need to be Qualified. Not every mother can homeschool their children usually the reason is that it will take up a lot of your free time if you even have it. If you have an everyday job that you must go to, homeschooling might not be the best option for you and your kid. Other than just having time for homschooling, you have to have certain qualifications such as good and solid knowledge.
3.Kids love Learning. Kids are made to learn new things every day, you most likely have heard that before that kids are like sponges they suck up information very easily, especially when they are little. They have a hunger for new information every day and you have to be prepared to provide that for them if you are planning to homeschool them. Learning is a very long process, humans never stop learning it is implemented in our brain.
4.Respect the Laws. If you are living in the United States, then you most likely know that is legal to homeschool your kid. However, there are various laws about homeschooling that you might not know about and they can be different depending on the state. If you don’t know what laws are affecting your state, we recommend that you visit your local support group. The representatives from your state will inform you about every law for homeschooling.
5.Customize Homeschooling. By customizing we mean that you don’t have to do things as they are in regular schools. Your lecture doesn’t have to take up so much time as it does in schools. That is because in school’s teachers are trying to explain something with speed that is fitting the majority of the class. If you see that your kid is a fast learner, you don’t have to take up the whole day to teach him something. Customize everything to fit your child.
6.Questioning Your Skills. This is a very normal thing that every mother that is homeschooling their kids does. There will be days when you will be questioning your teaching skills several times a day. That shouldn’t drag you away from further teaching, stay strong and believe in yourself. Sometimes your kid won’t learn a lot because if will be hard for him, that is not your fault. Even in regular school’s kids are coming home clueless what have they learned in school. That’s why is sometimes better to homschool because you can go through the same lecture again if your kid doesn’t learn it the first time.
There is no universal guideline for raising children, regardless of the age of a child. Every child truly is unique, requires deep understanding and individualized approach. Nevertheless, there are some common patterns of behavior every physically, mentally and emotionally healthy child should follow in a period of a certain age. So, if you’re a mother of a relatively young child or children, here’s a preview of some patterns you should follow in raising and some guidelines you can use to improve your relationship with your young child.
All children love to…
Learn and would be the universal, simple answer. Not all the children express these needs and interests in the same manner, but they are always there. Avoid a common mistake of imposing learning as a disciplined routine and duty; you will narrow child’s view and generate antipathy towards studying. Take advantage of the common situations to explain, teach, inform and trigger kid’s interest in a certain topic. Another common mistake to avoid is to neglect the importance of playing. Playing is not a waste of time, not even when the child grows up a bit. Stimulate you kid to play, to be creative and to explore, but make sure he stays safe and follows the priorities in the schedule.
Lack of limitations spoils
Methods of disciplining your child are a topic in psychological discussions about modern parenthood. One thing’s for sure – lack of directions, limits, and rules is not unconditional love, but the surest way to spoil your kid and deprive him of a basic feeling of responsibility. At the same time, using physical punishment to impose discipline to your child suggests you have failed as an authority and a friend at some point. The best is somewhere in the middle. Talk straight, open and be clear about conditions and rules. Explain the issue and the consequences. Make it logical and simple, and the child will follow. Don’t yell, don’t threat, but keep the authority in your voice and be consistent.
Routine, rituals and responsibility
It’s not just healthy and productive, but also good for boosting your child’s independence. Set regular waking up time and bed time, the routine schedule for meals, playing, house duties and involve your child into responsible tasks with full trust into their skills and capability. Kids thrive on success after being assigned to conduct some responsible duty.
Show your interest for their inner world
In an honest attempt to provide all the material aspects of cozy life to their children, many parents neglect emotional support and interest into feelings, thoughts, impressions and experiences of their child. It particularly goes for mothers. Try to avoid this common mistake. Talk to your child, get to know what occupies his mind, what worries him, amuses him, what’s the current emotional state and what struggles he’s coping with.
Watch the language
It’s not an issue to say that children often push our limits, especially in the relationship with mothers that impose a lot more not so pleasant duties to them. If you are already stressed and losing your nerves, try to watch the self-control and the way you express your thoughts and feelings. These moments of affective reaction pass in our lives, but often leave scars in kid’s memory. Find a way to be strict, but not offensive.
Most of us were fortunate enough to grow up next to the caring parents, especially mothers, who spent decades trying hard to provide all we needed in a material and emotional manner. If the life follows its natural cycle, there will certainly come the phase when the tables turn. Our parents will obviously face aging process with all of its challenging changes and aspects, and it is going to be our duty to assist them during these years. Being there for our parents during the last period of their lives is not only a duty due to family relationship. Approaching them in the best possible way in the aging phase and providing all we can at a given period is the only way to face final ending with a certain level of peace.
However, not all of us are skilled by nature or have temperament and knowledge to cope with these challenges in an optimal manner. To avoid frustrations, problems and emotional issue for both, children and elder parents, here are some of the most useful practical tips.
Compassion, understanding and accepting the changes
Habits, life style and many character features of your parents are a pretty consistent aspect of their lives even in this period of changes. Deal with the idea that you cannot change them fundamentally. Also, aging imposes various tough changes of personality, often even irritating characteristics. These aspects require your full compassion, self-control, and the best shot to understand that you cannot fight the natural course. Train your empathy and actual patience when dealing with practical issues of the aging.
Observe and intervene without being asked to
As the year’s pass, your parents will slowly lose one by one of their skills and capabilities. Their actual daily needs will grow, and the assistance will become necessary in many aspects. However, being aware of this is a personal defeat and to ask for help directly might feel humiliating. Prevent them from feeling this way by observing their behavior, noticing the aspect where you should intervene and provide help in a subtle manner.
Flex the rules, but impose simple routines
As long as your parents are relatively healthy, daily routines won’t be a major problem. Once the serious health issue, especially dementia, strike, you will have to adjust and modify routine. Keep it simple according to the memory capacity of the parent. Also, bear in mind that forgetting or confusion or any other expected problem will face you with the unpleasant situation and require to be flexible and prepared for it.
Practical advice for daily routine
Managing their health care is probably the most important aspect. Hire a nurse, consider hospice or organize family members in such a manner to provide continuously available assistance. Write down the short list of the most important phone numbers they should have close and place it at some obvious place. Organize their day, especially periods when you are not around, but do not try to control their lives. Don’t deprive them of their finances, as long as their mental state is solid, but get the access to it and keep an eye on potential issues.
There are a lot of studies showing that offspring that are born from older parents are much healthier at least they are less likely to suffer from many problems like high blood pressure or problems with cholesterol not to mention diabetes which is a very serious problem in later life. Children who are born from older parents are usually much healthier later in life and even if they are not healthy. A lot of studies show that men who are overweight but who are born from older parents are generally in better health. They had lower blood pressure, they had much lower level of cholesterol, and they had improved metabolism. It means that the risk of diabetes was severally reduced. Experts say that rising age for birth is increasing mostly because of the carrier and that parents also take responsibility for planning and having children.
What about downsides?
It is known however that mothers have been warned about the possible problems and risks of giving birth during their later life. A lot of researches show us that older women usually have more risks and complications than younger women in birth. There is a general opinion that older mothers have greater risks for miscarriage than younger ones and the same thing goes for genetic problems. They can also have a high risk for blood pressure and diabetes. The placenta problem is also a thing to consider. Then we have the Down’s syndrome. Babies that are born from older mothers have a higher risk for Down’s syndrome than babies born from younger mothers. Studies have also shown that children born from older fathers have a higher risk for autism, genetic disorders, schizophrenia and a lot more problems. Some of those studies have linked having an older father to Alzheimer’s disease, depression, cancer and heart problems and diseases.
What about men?
It is also known that men in their 40s will probably pass down a lot of potentially diseases much more likely than men in their 20s. The biological clock is ticking even for you gentlemen. Don’t be surprised. The quality of man’s sperm gets worse by age so if you plan on having children consider this fact. Don’t wait for the last train. Unlike women who are born with a full and complete set of eggs, men will always make new sperm in their lifetime. But we all know that during all these processes, a mistake can slip through. And during those DNA duplications, there could be some genetic mutations as men get older. Those mutations or mistakes in duplication are more frequent as men get older.
And if that mutated sperm is used to form a fetus, well, then there is more chance for problems and fetus development. On the other hand, there are a lot of studies showing that babies born from mothers, who are over 40 years old, usually have better emotional and physical health. So, there is a good and the bad side of having children when you are older. The first problem is usually the difference in years, and that draws the different view of life and its meaning. Different views in the family create possible problems in family relations.
Parents are facing problems with children when it comes to their socialization and teaching them how to behave. But there are few tips and tricks to overcome those difficulties.
Manners are important
Only three words can make the difference. I love you is one of those words but what we mean are those other three words. “Thank you” and “please.” Even children who are 18 months old can learn the basic things of politeness. It is the perfect time to start because the child starts to make judgments about the value and this is the time to teach him/her to use the word “please” and “thank you”. You may have problems with 2-year-olds because they have the rebel spirit inside them but a 3-year-old can be a child who likes to please its parents with politeness. Usually, they don’t fully understand what those words mean, but you can teach them later. It will become a habit to say these words, so the understanding of them will come later.
The question that we ask so we can remind them is usually “What do you say?”. It might be difficult at first but just remind them over and over and eventually, you will make it. The first thing that comes to your mind is, why can’t they understand what am I doing for them? I clean, cook, shop, etc. Well, the thing is they don’t feel empathy at a certain age. Most of them can’t appreciate the effort you are making for them. So in their eyes, it is a normal thing. It is usually at the age of 10. But we don’t have to wait until then to star teaching some ground rules.
By the way, when you go to the store, stop for a moment and pay attention to what are people saying. You don’t hear thank you or please. They only say “I want that” or “give me that.” We can’t influence other people especially if they are grown-ups, but we can teach our children how to behave. And that is a good start.
Where is the best place to start this practice?
The perfect place and time are at family dinner. There you can teach them manners; you can always correct them or reinforce manners in your children, and of course, you can build a frame for empathy. We do that by giving them a task to help clean up the table or to cook with us or something else. Since you child can see what he/she has, you could easily show them what the word thank you means. They know they have this food and they should always thank you for it because you provided it. In time the child will understand why the word thanks to you and what it means. They will slowly learn who produced that food, who brought it to the market, how mommy cooked it, how daddy served it etc.
Make sure the child or children are listening because all your effort will be in vein if that information is not absorbed well enough.